Elphaba Comes for a Visit
I have a cousin, Rocky, who I have mentioned before. I love my cousin but can’t help teasing
her whenever possible.
Recently, Barbara, my sister and I went to visit my daughter
in Connecticut. We invited
Rocky, Larry her husband, her children and grandchildren to come visit us.
Rocky, her husband, her daughter, her son, his wife, and his
son graciously accepted our invitation and were coming for a Barbecue.
I emailed Rocky’s daughter-in-law with directions and
casually introduced the name Elphaba when referring to Rocky in the email.
For those unaware, Elphaba is the name of the Wicked Witch
of the West from the Wizard of Oz, a somewhat fitting description at times for
Rocky.
On the morning of the Barbecue, my sister and I went to the
store to buy some cake, wanting it to be fresh. I picked out a nice cake and asked the lady behind the
counter to inscribe “Welcome Elphaba” on the cake.
After spelling it out for the lady and choosing an
appropriate color for the icing (green of course), she inscribed my little joke
and we took the cake home.
Everyone arrived and we all sat
down for the Barbecue.
My son-in-law acquitted himself grandly with the cooking,
and the food was a big hit.
During the meal, Rocky showed herself to be slightly to the
right of the tea party in her views.
She was especially vocal in her desire to acquire a handgun, a
frightening possibility given who was asking for a gun. Never the less we were having a very
good time.
When it came time for dessert, Rocky’s daughter-in-law,
Cathy was helping bring in the cakes and cookies. She stopped and came over to
me and stated: “I can’t bring in that cake”. She suppressed a smile and a giggle, looking to me to protect
her from Rocky’s displeasure.
I knew she had discovered my innocent joke. I took the burden away from her and
went to the kitchen to get that particular cake.
I brought it in and presented it with some fanfare to Rocky,
hereafter referred to as Elphaba.
“What is this, you moron,” she exclaimed. We had warned her not to curse since
there were 9 and 11 year olds present or her language would have been much more
colorful.
“It’s for you, it suits you,” I
answered. “Don’t you know who Elphaba is?” I asked.
“No, you jackass” she replied.
Just then her daughter and son said: “It’s her birthday in
two days. Let’s use it as a birthday cake.”
I readily agreed and my daughter
got out some birthday candles.
Rocky was incensed both about being referred to as Elphaba
and the fact we might actually put all the candles needed for her age on the
cake. There were many exclamations
of “moron” and “Jackass” comments aimed at me by Elphaba, some aimed in the
general direction of her son and daughter for thinking this was funny, and
several more mutterings under her breath directed at me which could not be said
aloud in the presence of the young children.
I assured her we would only put on one symbolic candle. After all there was a distinct danger
of a fire breaking out if we used all the candles. I’m not sure why she took
offense at that.
As it turned out, Emil her son, had a birthday in 4 days, so
she insisted he sit by her when the candle was lit. She then proceeded to abuse him physically (see below).
Her grandson Joe likes the name Elphaba for his grandmother
and I am encouraging everyone to adopt this new name for her.
I think it sounds so much better than just referring to her
as The Wicked Witch of the West.
Don’t you?
