Unrelated Incidents
I am lucky to have doctors with a sense of humor. I have previously told the story of the Urologist who gives me prescriptions that read: “No Ragu”, and “Cleared for the Bunny Ranch”, and the Oncologist that gave me a prescription that said: “Chemo patients should not be exposed to paint fumes”. That was when I futilely tried to get out of painting our kitchen.
This time it was the cardiologist.
Barbara and I use the same cardiologist. We had a routine 6 month checkup and scheduled the appointment together to save time. Normally Barbara does not want me in the room with her (with some valid (?) reasons that I have previously written about), but this time we went in together.
We got our exams and then the cardiologist asked us how we were doing with the COVID 19 lockdown.
I told him how we had started having “High Tea” in the afternoon. The doctor asked how we did that. I told him we were trying to be like Downton Abbey and I wanted Barbara and I to dress up in costume to fit the occasion. He wanted to know if that meant a skimpy maid outfit, etc. I assured him I meant something a little more proper.
I related how Barbara had been reluctant to accede to my costume request except once when we had a Zoom Tea Party with the grandchildren of a friend of ours. I opined that a prescription from him might compel her to comply with my request.
I observed the usual eye roll above Barbara’s medical mask. The doctor seemed to like the idea, probably still thinking of the skimpy maid’s outfit he had originally envisioned.
As The doctor was finishing inputing our data, he asked if there was anything else we want. I innocently asked for the prescription we had just talked about. He continued typing without comment.
We left the exam room and went to the checkout desk.
The girls at the desk were making our next appointments when a male nurse came up behind me and said: “Why do you need a prescription to wear a jacket?”
As he was behind me, I thought he was talking to someone else, so I ignored him.
He repeated the question.
I turned to him and asked if he was talking to me or to someone on the phone through a bluetooth device.
“To you”, he replied. “Why do you want a prescription for a jacket?”
At first, I didn’t realize what he was talking about. Barbara got it right away and gave me “the look”.
“Oh”, I said, “you must mean the prescription for High Tea”.
“It’s a joke” interjected Barbara.
“Yes”, said the girl at the desk, “here is the prescription request in the your file, just like Downton Abbey”.
The male nurse looked puzzled and I explained to him what we were talking about.
I started to laugh, because I realized that prescription was now part of our permanent medical records and history and would be sent to other doctors we dealt with. Once again I got “the look” from you know who.
As we were riding home I kept thinking about it and chuckling over it. Barbara asked why I was laughing and when I explained what I was envisioning, she started laughing too.
I wish I was present when our primary doctor got the cardiologist’s report of our visit.
Fortunately primary doctor has a sense of humor, not sure what the insurance company will think of the prescription.
In an unrelated but funny incident, Barbara managed to get the best of me.
Every night, it seems to me, Barbara comes into our room to go to bed. She washes up and then gets into bed where I am already ensconced.
Inevitably, she puts her hand , that has been chilled to almost zero( or so it seems to me) by washing her hands in cold water, on me. I protest loudly make her remove her hand. She then gives me a wide eyed innocent look, like “who me? what did I do?
The last two times, I have taken to grabbing her hand prior to her putting it on me. I believed she would get tired of that and the problem would be solved.
Last night, as Barbara got into bed, I grabbed her hand nearest to me. Oddly it was warm.
“Your hand is warm”, I said. “What happened?”
“Aha”, she exclaimed, as she reached across and put her other hand on me. Needless to say it was ice cold.
“Gotcha”, Barbara said.
She had purposely put her other hand in the cold water and kept out the one she usually put on me.
She got me!
I started laughing really hard. It took me a minute or so to catch my breath from laughing. I still laugh when I think about it and her diabolical plan to get me. Kudos to her.
Now that I have relayed this incident, perhaps I will get some sympathy and you will come to realize who the real character is in our house.
