Captain Hook Comes to the Birthday Party
My youngest granddaughter was turning three. Her mother decided to have a themed party of Tinker Bell and Peter Pan characters. She asked that the kids come as characters and if the parents wanted to come in costume that would be fine too.
My granddaughter loves to play “Peter Pan”. She is either Peter or Tinkerbell, my wife is Peter or Tinkerbell (depending on which my granddaughter chooses to be) her brother is a lost boy or pirate, and inevitably I am Captain Hook.
Captain Hook is always defeated and thrown into the water to be eaten by the crocodile. Try as I might, I am never allowed to be anything but Captain Hook.
When the invitation came, it was a forgone conclusion that I would get a costume (remember who you are dealing with here).
My wife and I went to the costume shop.
There was a Peter Pan costume there I wanted my wife to get as our granddaughter was going as Tinkerbell. My wife refused to spend the money (I think it was her desire not to wear green tights), and we proceeded to focus on me.
The first hat we were shown was a perfect “Hook” hat but way too expensive. I finally picked out a hat, hook and sword. I wanted to get more, but the "Secretary of the Treasury" said it was too expensive. We paid and left the shop.
The next day, I played golf with my son and we “coincidentally” ate lunch at a diner next to the costume shop.
I dragged him into the shop and we looked for more items.
I insisted he get a hat and sword, and since I was already there, I took it as God’s way of saying it’s ok to buy something.
I looked around for items to improve my costume. I chose a curled mustache and bright red sash to compliment the already purchased hat, hook and sword.
The big day came.
I attached the moustache with spirit gum purchased at the costume store, put on a long sleeve white shirt, black pants, black shoes, a vest, my sash, sword, hook and hat. I was a great looking Captain Hook. I was ready to go.
There was a slight problem.
A couple of the guests coming to the party required special dietary foods. I was the one to pick up the food. I figured I would get it on the way.
My wife and I drove to the shopping center and I parked the car. I got out of the car. My wife refused to join me. I couldn’t imagine why she wouldn’t come with me. I had taken off the vest, sash, hat and sword, what could be embarrassing?
As I entered the store, people were pointing and the owner was laughing. Could it be me?
Of course it was me! The large curling black mustache was an eye catcher. With my white shirt I looked like part of an old fashioned Barber Shop Quartet.
I quickly explained why I had on the mustache. Since most of the people there were grandparents they immediately understood.
I purchased the food and returned to the car where my wife was trying to look as if she didn’t know me.
People stared as we drove past them. It really was quite a spectacular moustache.
We went to my son’s house.
I called my son and told him to open the garage door and meet us outside so my grandkids wouldn’t see me. We unloaded the car and I got into costume. I went to the front door.
My son opened the door with my two grandkids in tow.
“Har Har Har” I exclaimed, “It’s me Captain Hook”.
My granddaughter’s eyes grew huge and she backed away. Not the response I was looking for. Her little brother didn’t seem afraid and I came in. She wouldn’t come near me for the rest of the day and kept a wary eye out to see where I was.
As other children came in, some were frightened, some took it in stride (most were under 4). All the little girls came as Tinkerbell. The boys didn’t come in costumes but were provided with a hat and blow up sword. Some of them engaged me in sword fights.
The adults smiled and seemed to appreciate the effort I had put into the costume. It was disappointing they weren’t in costume. I had expected a few of them to be in costume. The saving grace was I did present a dashing figure.
It was hot, and the long sleeves, vest and long pants made it hotter. The mustache was itchy and annoying and had to be reglued twice. I stuck it out until the cake was cut and pictures taken.
I took off the mustache and vest; gave the hat and sash to a boy; and ate some cake.
Right before we went home, the boy gave me back the hat and sash. I gave the hat, sash and sword to my daughter-in-law’s sister who had just gotten married. She had brought a pirate outfit with her but didn’t put it on. I figured she and her new husband could play pirates one night. She said she would save it for Halloween. Who do you believe?
My wife thought my getting the costume was a waste of time and money since my granddaughter was frightened of me and didn’t seem to care.
I thought the looks on the people’s faces in the food store was to quote a credit card commercial, “Priceless”.