Having Fun at the Supermarket

Having Fun at the Supermarket

I like going to the supermarket.  It gives me a chance to talk with people and often, have a little fun.

My wife, Barbara does not generally share my views about trips to the supermarket and generally cringes when I talk with people.

I ask for opinions on different brands, ask the fruit guys what’s good today, will graciously offer my opinion on different brands to other customers, and never fail to speak with the person offering free samples about their product.

At the checkout counter, I will often ask for “an exact change discount”.  Often, I am told, very seriously that the store doesn’t offer that. Sometimes I get a smile or a “wish I could, honey” out of an older female cashier, and once in a great while I actually get a penny or two from a greatly amused, older, female cashier.

I find the older female cashiers like my sense of humor.  They are doing their job and find my “antics” to be a break from their routine.

I have gotten them to give me discounts (once $5), credit me for coupons I didn’t have, but mostly when I innocently ask if it is “double coupon day” I get “sorry that was yesterday, if only you’d been here” from them.  

They’re the best.

The younger cashiers don’t seem to get it.  They take my inquiries seriously or look at me blankly when I innocently ask them for these whimsical things.

If there is a young cashier and a bagger, I will occasionally ask them if they wish to play “The price is right”.  I explain that the person who guesses the closest to how much everything costs in my basket will win the chance to pay. 

They usually agree to the game and if they win they laugh it off.  Once a young girl won and actually took it seriously. 

I magnanimously let her out of her obligation.  I actually felt bad about that. But how gullible was she?

My wife rolls her eyes, pretends she’s not with me, or tries to apologize and hustle me out of the store.

I am not above pulling her into my little attempts at humor.

I often pretend not to know her, or insist she pay, or she should promise me some unspecified reward for paying for “her” groceries.  I play the “put upon role” as if she was” dictator for life” of our marriage.

Once, after witnessing our little charade, an older bagger asked how come she (Barbara) hadn’t killed me yet. 

Barbara told him “It’s coming”.

Today, we were out shopping, and we were heading to the checkout.  I turned into the checkout line, and Barbara was nowhere to be seen. 

She had fallen behind and lost sight of me. 

I spotted her looking around for me

I told the cashier I was going to hide and hunkered down.

Barbara finally spotted me and came over.

By that time the cashier had started ringing up our stuff.

I asked Barbara if she was going to pay.

She said ”no”.

I asked her to help with the bagging.

She said “no”.

I asked what she was going to do.

She said, “pay with your credit card”.

I asked if she was going to sign my name, which would have been forgery.

She didn’t answer, but the cashier agreed it would be forgery.

We finally finished up and as we were leaving the cashier (an older female one), gave us a big smile and said: “Have another fun day as always”.

After thinking about it for a second, we laughed all the way to the car.

Some people get us.