Elphaba Comes for a Visit
I have a cousin, Rocky, who I have mentioned before. I love my cousin but can’t help teasing her whenever possible.
Recently, Barbara, my sister and I went to visit my daughter in Connecticut. We invited Rocky, Larry her husband, her children and grandchildren to come visit us.
Rocky, her husband, her daughter, her son, his wife, and his son graciously accepted our invitation and were coming for a Barbecue.
I emailed Rocky’s daughter-in-law with directions and casually introduced the name Elphaba when referring to Rocky in the email.
For those unaware, Elphaba is the name of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz, a somewhat fitting description at times for Rocky.
On the morning of the Barbecue, my sister and I went to the store to buy some cake, wanting it to be fresh. I picked out a nice cake and asked the lady behind the counter to inscribe “Welcome Elphaba” on the cake.
After spelling it out for the lady and choosing an appropriate color for the icing (green of course), she inscribed my little joke and we took the cake home.
Everyone arrived and we all sat down for the Barbecue.
My son-in-law acquitted himself grandly with the cooking, and the food was a big hit.
During the meal, Rocky showed herself to be slightly to the right of the tea party in her views. She was especially vocal in her desire to acquire a handgun, a frightening possibility given who was asking for a gun. Never the less we were having a very good time.
When it came time for dessert, Rocky’s daughter-in-law, Cathy was helping bring in the cakes and cookies. She stopped and came over to me and stated: “I can’t bring in that cake”. She suppressed a smile and a giggle, looking to me to protect her from Rocky’s displeasure.
I knew she had discovered my innocent joke. I took the burden away from her and went to the kitchen to get that particular cake.
I brought it in and presented it with some fanfare to Rocky, hereafter referred to as Elphaba.
“What is this, you moron,” she exclaimed. We had warned her not to curse since there were 9 and 11 year olds present or her language would have been much more colorful.
“It’s for you, it suits you,” I answered. “Don’t you know who Elphaba is?” I asked.
“No, you jackass” she replied.
Just then her daughter and son said: “It’s her birthday in two days. Let’s use it as a birthday cake.”
I readily agreed and my daughter got out some birthday candles.
Rocky was incensed both about being referred to as Elphaba and the fact we might actually put all the candles needed for her age on the cake. There were many exclamations of “moron” and “Jackass” comments aimed at me by Elphaba, some aimed in the general direction of her son and daughter for thinking this was funny, and several more mutterings under her breath directed at me which could not be said aloud in the presence of the young children.
I assured her we would only put on one symbolic candle. After all there was a distinct danger of a fire breaking out if we used all the candles. I’m not sure why she took offense at that.
As it turned out, Emil her son, had a birthday in 4 days, so she insisted he sit by her when the candle was lit. She then proceeded to abuse him physically (see below).
Her grandson Joe likes the name Elphaba for his grandmother and I am encouraging everyone to adopt this new name for her.
I think it sounds so much better than just referring to her as The Wicked Witch of the West. Don’t you?