Monday, January 6, 2014

Am I Going Deaf Or Is My Wife Tricking Me?

Am I Going Deaf Or Is My Wife Tricking Me?

We were in the supermarket, having just come from the gym.  I was at the checkout and  Barbara said she was going to go over to the weight scale to see how far off it was from the gym’s scale.

She returned and we walked out to the parking lot.

As we were walking towards our car, I asked what the scale had indicated her weight was.

“Are you deaf?” she asked.  “I just told you what it said when I got off it”.

“Really,” I replied, “I didn’t hear you.  What did it show?”

“There’s something wrong with you, you know that?  Has your short-term memory gone or are you deaf?” she replied.  “The scale here is two pounds light.”

We proceeded to the car and began to put our groceries in the trunk.

“Maybe you should take the eggs in the car with you instead of in the trunk,” I said.

“Are you really deaf or don’t you remember anything?  I just said that!”, she retorted.

“You did not,” I replied.  “I never heard you say that.  When did you say it?” I asked.

“Just now!” she replied somewhat archly.

“Are you sure you are actually saying these things, or are you just thinking them?” I inquired.

“Of course I said them,” she said, giving me the “look”.  “You must be deaf or losing it”.

I considered her answer and my mind went to an old movie called “Gaslight”, where the husband made the wife think she was crazy so he could institutionalize her.  Was this a reversal of roles?

In the past, when Barbara had said she had told me things, of which I have no memory, I have attributed it to my not hearing her.  She is often trying to talk to me from an another room or when I am engrossed in something else.

Her high pitched voice is also a contributing factor as I age gracefully.  Men lose the higher registers in their audio range of hearing as they get older.  Something nature does a a survival mechanism for those of us who are married.

There is also the selective deafness which has kept us happily married for 46 years to consider.  It has proven invaluable in keeping us from arguing and keeping me from having to do things Barbara has wanted me to do that I was reluctant to do.

Now, on reconsidering all that has transpired, I am beginning to think it is a plot to make me think I am crazy, and she hasn’t really said the things she says I forgot or didn’t hear.

I have asked other husbands if they have experienced similar accusations.  

They all have!

It’s time for all us husbands to form a support group so that our wives don’t literally drive us crazy.

Who wants to join?

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