Saturday, January 8, 2011

Golf or I Had a Good Breakfast

Golf or I Had a Good Breakfast

I first tried golf when I was in my 20’s.  I borrowed someone’s clubs and went out on the course.  I reasoned, that since I could hit a baseball pretty well, how hard could golf be.  I was terrible.

I did this 2 or three times over the years with the same results.

About 7 years ago, I decided to get more serious about playing.  I took a few lessons and got some lessons for my wife as well.  We thought it might be something we could do together for a fun exercise.

My wife quickly decided it wasn’t for her, but likes to drive the cart occasionally.

I was great in the lessons.  Driving, hitting irons, getting out of the sand trap, pitching, and putting.

Unfortunately this didn’t translate so well when I played an actual game.

I have hit trees, birds, iguana’s, and the markers on the tee.  Water is a magnet for my golf balls, I once hit a ball sideways into the cart and frightened my friend who was sitting in the cart.  It’s not safe around me.

I played sporadically, took more lessons, but never really made the time or effort to get better.

I tried different drivers, rescue clubs, putters, but still my game remained averaged about 103. 

I am what some would label a Hacker.

I would like to be better, but I don’t have the will or time to practice, so I remain at this level.

I do have fun. 

I play with my son occasionally, with my cousin (who is very good), friends (some good, some not so good), my son-in-law (before he moved to South Carolina) and by myself on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon when no one else is playing and I don’t have to keep score.

As I said before, my wife likes driving the cart.  She will, on rare occasions came with me and sort of be the caddy.

This is a nice way for us to spend the afternoon, with one drawback.

My wife likes driving the cart so much, she doesn’t stay with me.

I will hit the ball off the tee, drive to where the ball is, and by the time I’ve hit the second shot she is off somewhere driving around.  This slows down the round considerably.

I will look for the next club, or want a ride to where the ball has landed, and she is nowhere to be found.

I have asked her what is she thinking.  Her response is: It’s my fault because I shouldn’t be off in the rough somewhere, and why can’t I stay on the fairway? 

She pretends she is only going where the ball should have been hit to, if I hit it correctly.  It’s not her fault I didn’t hit it correctly.  She’s where she should be. 

I think it’s just she likes driving the cart.

She actually likes watching golf (and almost all sports, including bowling) on TV.  I don’t find watching sports very exciting unless I am at a game or tournament.  I rarely watch with her, preferring old or current movies.  I like playing sports, not watching on TV.

The best golf tournament we watched was a Seniors Tour event at Key Biscayne.  There was a bar/restaurant set up at the top of the green on a par three.  We watched all the players from the comfort of the bar/restaurant.  We had drinks, food and seats.  A great tournament experience!

Anyway, my wife is very eager to offer advice based on her TV watching, when we go to the driving range or she is acting as my caddy (when she isn’t touring the course without me).  I of course accept all her advice, reasoning how could what she suggests possibly make me worse. 

Recently, I have begun playing with two older men.  One is a friend of mine and the other is his older brother.  When I say older, I mean older than me.  My friend is around 72 and his brother is 76 or 78.

The older brother is very loud and opinionated.  He is a Tea Party sympathizer.  He wants the government to stop subsidizing the economy, people should stand on their own two feet, and Obama is doing a lousy job.

He collects a government pension from the Post Office, a disability pension from the Airforce, Medicare, and recently received unemployment benefits for a year.  He doesn’t see any dichotomy between his views and his economic benefits from the government.  I mostly laugh at the things he says, as does his brother.

I told them I wasn’t very good, but they said it didn’t matter.

We meet on Saturday Mornings and they only want to play 9 holes (they get tired).

They don’t take it very seriously except to compete with each other.  One of them played the ball of the other one, because it was closer, and the other one stepped on the ball on the green, grinding it into the earth when his brother wasn’t looking (he didn’t notice and just thought he mishit it when he putted).

They often take second or third shots (the course we go to is not crowded), and only keep score if they get par or better (one actually got a legitimate birdie).

They can’t hit far, but their short game is good and the course is not long.

I have fun and get a few hours out side and some exercise.

Their main goal is to finish the round so they can make it to a restaurant before the breakfast specials expire.  A cheap breakfast, and a few hours away from the wives is the unspoken goal (sometime spoken) of our Golf game. 

The score on the course doesn’t matter; it’s the score  (getting there in time for the specials) at breakfast that counts.

My wife usually asks me how I did when I get home.   If I did well, I say the game was good, my driving, fairway shots, putting (pick one) were good.

If I didn’t play so well I say: “Breakfast was great!”

Breakfast was great today.

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