Sunday, January 30, 2011

Hayley vs. Grandma

Hayley vs. Her Grandma

Both my mother and granddaughter love jewelry.  In fact they have a lot in common.  Both like to be the center of attention, both would perform at the drop of a hat, both like to dress up, and while one gave me lists of things to buy, the other would probably like to.

Hayley is a somewhat younger version of my mother.

My mother had a fairly large collection of costume jewelry, which she kept in her bedroom.  She wore a lot of it and a lot of it was in boxes in her nightstand, forgotten.

When Hayley was 4, I initially took Hayley into my mother’s bedroom to look at the jewelry as a way of keeping her amused.  From that time on, whenever we would visit my mother, Hayley would take my hand and lead me into my mother’s bedroom so she could go through the jewelry.

I once took a crystal necklace from the jewelry box and gave it to Hayley (my mother had two almost identical ones).  My mother caught us at the door, but I insisted she give it as a gift to Hayley.

The necklace was actually too long for Hayley and she wore it doubled.   She called it her sparkly necklace.

My mother would ask for it back occasionally but I would refuse.  Hayley would often wear it when my mother was around.  I think to taunt her.

Hayley wore it to preschool one day and one of her friends broke it.  My daughter collected as many crystal beads as she could, and told me what happened.  I told her not to worry and I took the remains of the necklace.  I went to a craft store and got materials to restring it.

I restrung the remaining crystal beads but many had been lost.  When I finished restringing it, the necklace fit Hayley with one loop instead of two.

We told Hayley not to mention that the necklace had been broken and my mother never noticed it had been shortened.

Hayley continued to take me by the hand to go into my mother’s room and my mother continued to pretend (or maybe not pretend) to be mad about it and demand jewelry back from Hayley.

I once took her into the bedroom and we were going through the jewelry, Hayley trying on different pieces, when my mother spotted us.

She started marching into the room.

Hayley looked up and said, “He made me do it!” while pointing to me. 

So much for loyalty.

Giving Hayley some of the jewelry was justified payback I thought.

My mother had once taken a very nice gold and blue topaz ring from my daughter.

My wife had given my daughter the ring when my daughter was about 14.  My wife had too many rings and thought my daughter would like it.

When my mother came to visit, my daughter showed the ring to my mother, who immediately took a liking to it.

“It’s too old for you,” my mother said and took the ring from her.

I protested and demanded she give the ring back. 

My mother took off a small gold ring she had and said “Here, take this one, it’s more youthful.”

My daughter, good sport that she is, accepted the exchange. 

This incident was often brought up to my mother when she would try to stop me from letting Hayley choose “gifts” from my mother.

Hayley eventually wound up with the gold and topaz ring after my mother died.

Once, when my mother came to my daughter for a family dinner, Hayley, fearful that my mother would take back some of the jewelry, stood guard at the door to her bedroom so my mother couldn’t go in and take back some of the jewelry she had “given” to Hayley.

Hayley now has gone through my daughter’s jewelry, telling her that what’s her’s is to be shared by both of them.

Hayley has the most real jewelry and nicest pieces of anyone her age.

Her little cousin Isabella won’t be far behind.

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