Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Hair Disaster in Orlando

The Hair Disaster in Orlando

My wife, daughter, son and I were going to Disney and Universal for the weekend.  Our cousin Kim, who was the same age as our son, was joining us there.  We arrived on Friday night and Kim would join us on Saturday.  I should have specified a time.

At 8 AM the front desk called to say a young girl was waiting for me in the lobby.  I got dressed and went down to collect Kim.

We only had two rooms so Kim shared a bed with my daughter and my son had the other bed.  My wife and I were in the next room.

It was July and very hot.  We decided to spend the day at Typhoon Lagoon, a water park in Disney.

It is a great park.  We started off at the Coral Reef.  You float over the water while the current gently pushes you along over the reef.  You can see fish, sharks, and rays, just below where you are floating.

We then went to the tube ride.  You get onto a 6 person round tube at the top of a spiral water slide and ride down.

I, my daughter, son and cousin all climbed up to the top and went down on the tube.  My wife did not go.  She doesn’t like rides in general, and water rides in particular.

My wife has something against getting her hair wet in the ocean or pool.  It is something of a family joke that she never gets her hair wet in the pool or ocean.  Everyone who knows her is aware of this.  The only people allowed to get her hair wet are the grandchildren, who can do no wrong.

In her defense, her hair is very thick, extremely curly and very hard to dry and manage once it does get wet.  She doesn’t go to the beauty parlor very often, so it isn’t like she has to worry about preserving the look from the beautician.  She just doesn’t like it.

Still, it was very hot out and we convinced her to take the ride with the understanding that her hair could remain dry.

We climbed the stair to load onto the tube.  We were all sweating and hot.  There was an attendant at the top to assist people onto the tube.  Since we were 5 people we would have our own tube.

We climbed into the tube, my wife came last. 

The attendant looked at her and said “You look too dry”.  With that he shoved the tube under a waterfall at the beginning of the spiral.  The water came tumbling down on my wife’s head, soaking her thoroughly and especially her hair.

We would have fallen down laughing if we weren’t already lying on the tube.  It was hilarious.

My wife was sputtering out water and looking at me like it was my fault (see how the innocent get blamed).  I swear, I did not put the guy up to it.

I don’t think my cousin Kim knew what we were laughing so hard about, but joined in because of the look on my wife’s face.

The whole thing looked like it had been planned for a slapstick comedy movie.   I can visualize the Marx Brothers doing it to Margaret Dumont (look it up).  Not that my wife in any way resembles Margaret Dumont, more like Lucille Ball.

She did recover quickly and had a great afternoon, now that she didn’t have to protect her hair.

We all went back to the hotel and went out for dinner.

The next day we went to Universal. 

No unusual incidents occurred; we stayed away from water rides and had a good time.  Or as good as someone who doesn’t really like rides can experience.  As I said, my wife doesn’t really like rides beyond the “Small World” caliber ones.

We once took her on a small roller coaster at Disney, Thunder Mountain.  She was sitting with my daughter who was probably 10 at the time.  I was in front with my son.

We heard these horrible screams of terror and turned around expecting it came from my daughter.  It wasn’t my daughter.

My wife is not as bad as my Cousin Rocky who is so terrified of rides she grasped her husband’s arm so hard (it was an extremely mild ride), she raised welts.  But that’s another story (beginning to sound like the bartender in Irma La Douce).

We took Kim home and returned to South Florida.  I can’t remember another time where my wife got her hair wet without me having something to do with it, but this was by far the funniest.

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